Looking for the Gifts

A WITNESS BY MELISSA REED

Have you ever experienced a rough patch in life and received this helpful advice?

“Cultivate a gratitude attitude”

“Have faith that God has a plan”

“Count your blessings”

These are good practices -- useful for keeping things in perspective. Useful to reassure ourselves that God is present and remains in control. But not particularly helpful in the thick of the moment when trying to make sense of the crisis at hand. I don’t need a platitude attitude.

Pastor Shirley has shared this with people experiencing trying times: “Look for the Gift.”

This isn’t the same as “count your blessings.” In this context, Blessings and Gifts mean different things.

Blessings refer to those good things that continue to happen, unrelated to the current crisis. Recognizing Blessings during times of crisis can ground us, provide perspective, and reassure us that not everything is going all wrong. In COVID-19, those blessings we notice might include:

• Beautiful weather so we could be outdoors in our yards, walk the neighborhoods.
• Stable internet connections
• Availability of food

Gifts – in this context – refer to good things that would NOT have happened except for the ‘bad thing’ – the rough patch, the crisis. These will be very individualized because each person’s situation is different.

The beauty of "look for the Gift" is you can do it NOW, not wait to look back and say "Yep... God knew best!" It takes spiritual discipline to keep the faith in moments of crisis – to believe and not just hope God hasn't "stepped away". This is made easier when you're able to spot a few Easter eggs of grace in the moment – the Gifts. The good things that still manage to come out of the bad.

For me, COVID-19 has been especially terrifying because my father is in memory care. It has also been disappointing – Abby’s grad school graduation had to be cancelled. Adam’s plans to work at Camp Hanover changed. It has been irritating -- the job search for Michael has slowed to a crawl.

Even so, I have continued to experience God’s blessings – specifically in this time:

• Comfortable and safe home environment to ride out the quarantine
• Easy communications with those I couldn’t visit in person– calls, texts, emails, videochats
• Good health
• Employment

Finding the Gifts was a bit harder. Especially in the beginning, when anxieties were running so high. Remember our collective moment of disbelief when the quarantine was extended to June? We all had a choice to make: survive or thrive. We could close our eyes and hold our breath til June, or find a way to create a meaningful existence even when many of the things that gave meaning and purpose were shut down for quarantine. Survive or thrive. Identifying the Gifts helped me to see we don’t have to wait for COVID to pass before we can live fully again. We just have to be open to live differently. There are worthwhile things happening because of, even in spite of, COVID-19.

Finding the Gifts in no way negates or even minimizes the bad. It does help us find light in that darkness.

For me, the Gifts have included:

Focused time together with all four of us at home – watching a movie, having dinner, just hanging out in the kitchen sharing the latest memes and cute kitten videos. We had not expected to have more of this “us four” time, so this bonus time is a huge gift.
 
Talking daily walks through the neighborhood with any combination of Abby, Michael, and Adam. And the conversations we've had that might not have been otherwise.
 
Experiencing Spring – daily walks gave me the opportunity to watch the earth’s wake-up process – phlox, tulips, irises, flowering trees, azaleas – in a way I just don’t when zipping by them in my car.
 
Helping churches find ways to continue meeting for study and worship. Some of these new avenues may help shut-ins be a more active part of common life even after the COVID crisis has passed.
 
Learning new skills – I’d never created a worship video before. But as my Dad would say, “No sense being ignorant all your life…” I took what I did know how to do, and did my best to figure out the rest. It was fun, and a wonderful creative outlet.
 
Family projects of recording music content for online worship services.

A much-needed break from the world and its busy-ness.

Some Gifts are more easily recognized in hindsight.

When my mom had a sudden serious illness a while back, I was thrown in the deep end of her health crisis and figuring out Dad’s care in her absence. It was a nightmare. I confess at that time I couldn’t bring myself to look for a Gift -- what Gifts could there possibly be in this situation? But I did find them. We moved Dad temporarily to assisted living in Richmond while Mom recovered. One Gift was the extra time this gave me with Dad. Another Gift I recognized only in hindsight: The assisted living stay helped smooth the way when we needed to place Dad in memory care a year later.

In times of crisis, it can be helpful to look for the Gift. Sometimes you just have to look really hard.